Being a parent is one of life’s most rewarding journeys, but it’s no secret that it can leave you feeling emotionally and physically drained. Between juggling nappies, playdates, work, and endless to-do lists, it’s easy to feel like there’s no room left for you. What’s important to remember is this: needing personal time is completely normal.
But here’s the tricky part. How do you bring up the need for some solo time without upsetting your partner or making them feel undervalued? It’s a balance that can make all the difference—for both your mental wellbeing and the overall harmony in your relationship.
In the final part of the Care for Kids x The Parenthood Podcast content series, Leonie suggests practical steps to approach this conversation with care and compassion while ensuring both you and your partner feel seen and supported.
1. Start with How You Feel
When you’re ready to start the conversation, lead with an “I feel” statement. This keeps the focus on your experience rather than unintentionally sounding like you’re pointing the finger. For example, you might say, “I’m feeling tapped out and overwhelmed. I think I really need an hour this week to clear my head.”
Being honest about your emotions can help your partner understand where you’re coming from. This approach fosters connection and reduces the chance of defensiveness while opening the door for collaboration.
2. Make Specific Requests
Vague suggestions can lead to misunderstandings, so try being specific about your needs. For example, “I’d really appreciate it if you could look after the kids while I go out for a coffee with a friend” gives your partner a clear plan to support you. Not only does this make it easier for them to help, but it also emphasises that you’re asking for teamwork, not demanding something one-sided.
3. The Power of Routine
One of the most effective ways to manage personal time is by building it into your regular schedule. When self-care becomes a routine, it feels less like a luxury and more like a shared priority.
Maybe Monday mornings are your time to hit the gym, or Thursday evenings become your designated hour to take a walk or read a book. When these moments are penciled in, it’s easier to stick to them, and everyone knows what to expect. This not only reduces stress but also prevents last-minute negotiations that can create friction.
4. Don’t Forget Your Partner’s Time Too
It’s easy to focus on your own needs and forget that your partner likely craves personal time too. A great way to avoid resentment or imbalance is to ask them if they’d like time for themselves, too.
Maybe your partner wants to wind down with a game of golf, an art class, or even just an uninterrupted Netflix session. When you both mutually prioritise each other’s personal time, it strengthens your relationship and showcases the value you place on each other’s well-being.
5. Remember, This Is Teamwork
Parenthood is challenging, but you’re in it together. Supporting each other with kindness and open communication helps you both thrive—not just as parents but as individuals and partners.
By approaching the need for personal time with empathy and planning, you can meet your own needs without diminishing your partner. It’s all about teamwork, understanding, and ensuring there’s balance during these busy (but beautiful!) years of parenting.
Make sure you follow us on Instagram to watch all of the Care for Kids x The Parenthood Podcast Q&A videos, where Leonie Akhidenor dives deeper into how to balance personal time and partnership while navigating the chaos of parenthood.
